starllex:

PSA:

When your child is trying to talk to you about something, listen first, then say what you need to. 

Nothing pisses a child off more when their parents try to demean them by screaming over what they have to say. 

deucebowl:

How the FUCK am I supposed to have a good day when 28% of Americans aren’t getting enough fiber?

knifefarty:

if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more

kill-natalie:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.

freakvevo:

*gets my nipples pierced at Claire’s*

suojure:

malijuanastyles:

i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole

crispyweave:

do she got a booty?

she dooooooooooooooo